Spooktober Side Car 8: The Nun

Only two to go! Thank god. Today we're talking about The Nun. Once again, the powers that be in the CCU decided to give us the backstory on some demon from the Conjuring movies. This one, given the title, was the demon nun that we saw a couple of times in the Conjuring 2. At least, I assume this movie is named after the demon nun. Or it might be named after one of the other non-demon nuns in the movie? If you're going to call your movie The Nun you should probably only have one nun in it. Maybe they should have called it A Nun.

The movie opens in a convent in Romania where we see two nuns (title already debunked!) One nun goes through a door that has something spooky written on it and the other stays behind. Then some scary things happen and the stay behind nun tries on a noose and takes a jump out the window. SCARY.

The Vatican decides it's time to investigate so they send a priest and he brings along a non-vowed nun. Once they get to Romania they team up with a guy named Frenchie (he's actually French Canadian) to go get to the bottom of this nun suicide. Blah blah blah, some rich guy used to live in a castle or some shit which is where the convent is now and he tried to summon a demon and that demon is doing it's best to come into the world to... kill people or steal souls or something I don't know or care?

So the a priest, a non-vowed nun, and a Frenchie walk into a convent... Classic set up for a joke (which this movie is). They battle some spooky happenings, Frenchie says "holy shit" to which the priest responds "the holiest" about something I can't remember, and that's about it. Who lives, who dies, who wins, who loses, who cares?

This movie was not good but it was more fun than the first two Annabelle movies. At least the setting was a creepy convent castle and not an apartment or a dollmaker's house. So this has a way better atmosphere than those two ass piles. The other plus side is it's on HBO so I didn't have to pay to watch it. I've spent a lot of money watching awful fucking horror movies this October. I leave you with some screen shots (with time stamps because I am much too lazy to expend effort cropping photos from this shit movie because it does not deserve the effort).

Don't watch this movie. It fucking sucks. On the bright side, only one more CCU to write about! Unfortunately it's a doozy.

The cross is upside down so there's a satan. It's also on fire so that probably means a double satan.

That's a ghost vomiting a snake, alright.