Spooktober Side Car 4: The Conjuring 2: Conjure Harder

Time to continue this magical adventure deeper into the Conjuring Cinematic Universe (CCU) with 2016's Conjuring 2. You know what we all need when it comes time to view a scary horror movie? Having that movie be a full damn half hour longer than the previous movie in the series. The Conjuring 2 comes in at a full 2 hours and 14 mins (the first is an hour and 52). Neither of these movies needs to be above 100. I just want to stop in for some scares and move on with my day. No muss, no fuss.

Much like the first, the conjuring 2 has a cold open of a different famous investigation by the family Warren. In the first it was the Annabelle investigation, in this it's the investigation of the Amityville house. This does provide some solid visuals where Lorraine goes on a psychic vision quest and relives the murders from the POV of the murderer. Her imaginary shotgun landing bloody kill shots tells you that this movie was made with an R rating in mind. Also here we meet a spooky nun demon.

I promise there's a scary nun face in that blackness but I'm too lazy to get a brighter capture

The Warrens are gonna take a break from investigating spookins after this but they learn of a new spookin happening to a little girl in Jolly Olde England so they hop on a plane and get to checking it out. The ghost in the house plays all kinds of fun pranks on the girl, her mom, their family, and the Warrens including TV pranks, door pranks, chair pranks, bed pranks, bite pranks, possession pranks, ringing a bell pranks, other furniture pranks, levitation and teleportation pranks, knife pranks, riddle pranks, and lightning pranks (there are even more pranks not shown here). There is a scene where the demon ghost bites a lady and ghostly dentures are found, so that's fun. Eventually the demon gets sent back to hell and for the second time in as many movies, the Warrens save the day without a body count. This leads us to the credits where the spookiest, scariest prank of all is played on us the audience: one of the producers of this movie is Steven Mnuchin.

I wrote down some dumb notes about the movie while I was watching it and I did note that I felt like the first 20 mins of this one were spookier than the entire first Conjuring. I need get some goosebumps and tingles down my spine. I liked this better than the first.

RATING: 30 goosed bumps out of a possible 50 (yes this is how the human body works)

HOW I WATCHED IT: Paid money to watch it on Prime like some kind of professor Moneybags

BEVERAGE: Can't remember

FINAL THOUGHTS: Liked it better than the first, but 2 hours and 14 mins is too damn long for a horror movie. Gimme a hard 90-100, folks.