Spooktober Side Car 5: Annabelle

Continuing with the 3rd film in the CCU (I guess it was made second but it's a spin off so it can go fuck itself) we have Annabelle. Guess they decided to give a backstory to the doll that was a pretty damn minor part of the first conjuring movie because the prop was creepy (the real Annabelle was a Raggedy Ann doll).

SPOOKY DOLLS SCARE ME

I watched this like a week ago but I was too lazy/ didn't care for the movie enough to write words about it in a timely basis (I've watched another uhhhh 4 or 5 spooky movies since, too. Fuck.) I also can't remember any of the character's names but here we go anyway.

There's a med student (MS) and his wife (she's pregnant). They go to church and chat with their neighbors about something dumb. MS gives the wife the creepy Annabelle doll and she's super excited and talks about how bad she wanted it but couldn't find it. We have a scene at night in their bedroom and you can see out their window into their neighbor's house... and you seen the neighbors get attacked/ murdered. The murders pay a visit to MS and wife and the wife gets stabbed in the belly. The cops show up in the nick of time and murd the murders. Well one of them. The girl murderer (who turns out to be the estranged daughter of the neighbors) had run into a different room and slit her own throat with the Annabelle doll in her arms.

Turns out the fetus didn't die and blah blah blah, spooky things start happening in the house. MS gets a residency so they have to move out of their spookin' house into an apartment in Pasadena. Spookin things start to happen in the apartment (turns out it wasn't the house that was haunted it was the people so it has to be a demon and not a ghost or some bullshit).

Mom starts losing it, gets attacked by a demon in the basement. More spooky stuff happens. Mom is convinced the demon is trying to get her baby's soul. Turns out the demon wants a soul but can't take it - the soul has to be willingly given and the baby can't consent (demons have v strict statutory laws) so it's trying to trick mom into giving it her soul. More stuff happens. Mom's friend takes a digger out the window because she decided it should be her soul to give to the demon annnnnnnnnnd we're done.

This movie was boring and it sucked and fuck it. The doll didn't move till 70 mins in to a 93 or so minute movie and even then it barely did anything. All the scary attacks were from a dumb CGI creature and not the spooky doll. I don't remember what I drank but I do know that I paid money to rent it off of Amazon. I award this movie no stars and may god have mercy on its soul.

Fuck this movie.